The other evening, while my wife and I were watching a movie, we heard a
sudden and terrified call from our daughters' bedroom (they share a room) -
"Daddy!" I jumped up from my chair, spun a 180 and made a mad dash to
their bedroom. As I opened the door I felt a rush of confused emotions and
fears flood my mind and my heart. I'm sure you other dads have felt this way
too. As you begin to open the door you're not sure what's on the other side.
That night, it was a bad dream!
I don't know what the dream was about, but it didn't really matter - she called her daddy, that's what mattered. As I knelt beside her bed listening to a bunch of incoherent mumbles squeezed out through pouty lips and tear filled eyes I realized how badly she needed me.
I scooped her up, carried her to the glider and rocked her. As I sat with her, in the same glider I used to rock her in when she was an infant, I thought about how present I usually am NOT.
Have you been in a moment like that? It's a moment when you think about every single thought you've ever had about being a dad. The part that always gets to me is when I start remembering all the moments I haven't been fully present for my children. How do you handle that moment?
Well, here's what I did (and try to do). Be present. We can't change the past, right? We can apologize for not being there, but that doesn't change what happened. We can promise to be there in the future, but what happens if you're not?
All we have is the moment we're in. If we are not going to be present in that moment, nothing else really matters.
Make being present a mission for yourself, for your child(ren). My promise to you, you will not regret it.
I don't know what the dream was about, but it didn't really matter - she called her daddy, that's what mattered. As I knelt beside her bed listening to a bunch of incoherent mumbles squeezed out through pouty lips and tear filled eyes I realized how badly she needed me.
I scooped her up, carried her to the glider and rocked her. As I sat with her, in the same glider I used to rock her in when she was an infant, I thought about how present I usually am NOT.
Have you been in a moment like that? It's a moment when you think about every single thought you've ever had about being a dad. The part that always gets to me is when I start remembering all the moments I haven't been fully present for my children. How do you handle that moment?
Well, here's what I did (and try to do). Be present. We can't change the past, right? We can apologize for not being there, but that doesn't change what happened. We can promise to be there in the future, but what happens if you're not?
All we have is the moment we're in. If we are not going to be present in that moment, nothing else really matters.
Make being present a mission for yourself, for your child(ren). My promise to you, you will not regret it.
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